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One of the strange contradictions in the recent attacks on parents is that they have been simultaneously accused of being neglectful of their duties and of being overconcerned with their responsibilities. It would be an idle task to speculate whether today's parents or those of yesteryear showed more devotion to their children. But in one respect parents today seem to have enlarged their ambition: aware that new scientific knowledge can contribute much to child rearing, they want to acquire and utilize this knowledge. It is well-nigh impossible to estimate the number of parents involved today in the wide spread of parent-education activities. Parents seek this guidance not to shed their responsibilities, but to do them more justice.

One of the earliest thoughts parents absorbed from the field of child guidance was that of the child's basic need for security which today has become the most widely accepted principle of child care. Yet in recent years even this cardinal principle has been attacked, often as violating what its critics saw as the American spirit of rugged individualism and independence. It seems appropriate, therefore, in this discussion of parental ideals, to underline its importance. It is, of course, precisely this ultimate objective of independence and mature functioning which requires for its attainment an uninhibited sense of utter security in the infant. Once he has absorbed it, he will be able to venture forth, with the parents' guidance, slowly developing his sense of responsibility.

The concept of security is close to the development of responsibility, and the word responsibility, of course, leads straight-away to the controversial problem of discipline. The problem lies not so much in the lack of a proper ideal, but rather in the parents' quandary in finding new ways of discipline appropriate to today's pattern of family life. Many public officials, distinguished jurists, and civic leaders are demanding that we go "back to the woodshed." But parents' ideals do have to be adjusted to our changing world.

Out of "the Sunny Past"

I served recently as a participant on a panel discussing juvenile delinquency. One of the other panel members was a police official. All evening he had followed a rather progressive line in his comments but toward the end, in response to a challenge, he suddenly burst out with the statement: "Of course I really think that, for some of those boys, a horse whipping would do an awful lot of good."

I immediately said to him that my boy certainly wouldn't mind getting a horse whipping from me. Knowing my views on corporal punishment, the man eyed me suspiciously and then said, "There's some trick behind this."

I responded, "By all means. You see, if I would give my son a horse whipping we would have to have a horse whip, and if we would have a horse whip we would have a horse and buggy and a big barn and a yard. All those things you enjoyed in your youth, and if my son had all those privileges, he indeed would not mind a horse whipping. But what you are trying to do is to bring out of your sunny past just the horse whip and not what goes with it."

This personal anecdote underlines how foolish one can be by looking back to the good old days. Nonetheless, the voices demanding "the woodshed" are growing stronger, and parents will need help and reassurance in holding fast to the gains that have been made. To be sure, the parent knows about children -- many children -- and from careful study he has acquired knowledge which is not available to the parent, and yet may be essential to deal with the child's problem.

Parent education today is becoming as much a part of the American scene as health education has been since it became accepted decades ago. Good parent education does not minimize the parents' role; on the contrary, it tries to enhance and strengthen it. Good parent education does not aim at supplanting the parents' individual ideas with "packaged" products; instead, it recognizes its auxiliary role and directs its efforts toward helping parents to define and pursue their own ideals in this world of changing values.