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"Yes, Oh, yes, certainly. Your things shall be taken care of."

At my suggestion, the porters then formed a "saddle-seat" with their hands, upon which I sat, with my hands upon their shoulders, and thus they transported me very gently and safely to the upper ward, followed by the Doctor, and preceded by Miss Gerta De La Hay.

When within the limits of the ward, I said to my guard:

"I can walk now -- I will not burden you any further."

I then thanked them for carrying me so gently, and turning to Dr. McFarland I inquired:

"Can these men bring up my trunk?"

"Yes, certainly, you shall have all your things." The Doctor was true to his word -- all my things were removed with me to this ward.

As the Doctor left with his porter, I remarked to my attendants:

"The Doctor can do a mean thing in the most alert gentlemanly manner possible. But I was determined to be a match for him in playing 'the lady' as far as he did 'the gentleman.' His manner reminds me of Mrs. Waldo's remark, 'do the thing in a Christian spirit, and all will be right!' But I think it is as impossible to do any wicked act in a Christian spirit as it would be to murder or steal with a Christian spirit. Now I am under your care, and I have not sinned in coming, for the act was not mine, but Dr. McFarland's, therefore, I hope to enjoy the smiles of an approving conscience, here as well as elsewhere. Will you now introduce me to my new associates?"

Miss Bailey replied, "Mrs. Packard, I do not think there is a patient in this hall who can answer a rational question in a rational manner."

"I will not trouble you then to introduce me. Where is my room?"

She then showed me the screen-room the Doctor had assigned me. :

My attendants were amazed at this appointment, and insisted there must be a mistake.

But I told them this was the room above mine, and I should obey his orders in taking it.

But before my carpet was cleaned and brought, Miss Smith had inquired of the Doctor why he had given me a screen room, when the astonished Doctor said he did not know it was a screen-room, and directed her to let me have my choice of all the rooms in the hall. I accordingly chose a pleasant front room, which I occupied until I was discharged. I was allowed one favor here which had before been scrupulously denied me, during my prison life, and that was to have the liberty of closing the door of my room in the day time.

I was never locked in my room nights, by any attendant after I had a room by my self. This, too, was a rare favor.

As the Doctor has said, he had a quiet class of patients in this hall, so that with my closed door, I had a nice quiet place to write "The Great Drama," which was written in this room.

The way in which this came to be written will appear in its proper place.

I am now quietly settled in my new quarters. My prospects for quiet, rest and study, were never brighter. So true it is, that good comes out of seeming evil. The darkest providen-ces are often the stepping-stone to prospective good.

I have indeed been crucified again. The cross upon which I have been hung, although by some is regarded with con-tempt, yet like the scars the noble soldiers receive in battles, for the defence of their country, is yet to be looked upon in its true light.

I have had a battle against the rule of despotism here -- I did not surrender, neither was I conquered.

Though the thing aimed at was accomplished, yet the power of despotism here is weakened more by the triumph than it could have been by the defeat.

Miss Mattie Shelton, one of my attendants in the old Seventh said to me:

"I can't blame you for doing as you do, we are all ruled with rigor here."

"It is true that all who will submit to be trod upon, will surely be thus subjected. I shall stand upon my own self-defence, and so must all who stand here. I hope Dr. McFarland will never try to govern an intelligent woman with force again. Miss Johnston, attendant in the new Seventh, says:

"Mrs. Packard, you are strong both in mind and body, so you can bear this crucifixion better than a weaker subject could."

"If I can help woman by suffering in her stead, I will rejoice in my sorrows."

CHAPTER XXXVI.
Reading Books and Papers.

There is a library connected with this Institution, which the public designed for the use of the patients, and there are a large number of papers generously sent to the Institution as a free-will offering for their benefit.

But it is due to the public and the patrons who bestow these gifts so kindly, that it should be known that these books and papers very seldom find their way to the prisoners in the wards.

Even while I was an occupant of the Seventh ward, it was with great difficulty I could get either; and while in the Eighth, it was almost impossible for me to get one, except clandestinely and by strategy. And were it not for the special kindness of Dr. Tenny, Mr. and Mrs. Coe, and Mrs. Hosmer, I should have been left to famish from mental starvation.

It was war time, too, when daily events of the most thrilling kind were occurring, and I felt it to be a great privation to be deprived of the news of the war.