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Modern Persecution, or Insane Asylums Unveiled
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737 | From this time, for two years and eight months, was I made a close prisoner, and never after, with but one exception, allowed to step my foot outside the asylum walls, and I fully believe it was the Doctor's purpose to make a maniac of me, by the skillful use of the asylum tortures. | |
738 | But, thank God! the mouths of the Asylum Lions were kept shut, so that they could not hurt me, and like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, the Lord brought me out of this fiery furnace without the taint of insanity upon me. I did not fear to trust the Lord in the line of my duty -- he did not forsake me in my captivity. | |
739 | Although henceforth I became one with my fellow captives in suffering, yet never for one moment have I regretted the step I then took in their defence, nor the transition it assigned me. | |
740 |
CHAPTER XII. | |
741 | One Saturday evening, after chapel prayers, Dr. McFarland took me by the arm and led me from the chapel into the eighth ward, and as he left me behind the dead lock, said: | |
742 | "You may occupy this ward, Mrs. Packard." | |
743 | This was the first manifestation of the change in the Doctor's feelings towards me. As he left, I said to my attendant: | |
744 | "Miss Tenny, what does this mean?" | |
745 | "I don't know; all he said to me was, 'I wish you not to allow Mrs. Packard to leave the ward, and give her a dormitory bed, and treat her as you do the maniacs." | |
746 | "I don't know what it means either, he has never reproved me for anything, neither have I broken any rules that I know of. I wonder if 'my reproof' has not offended him?" | |
747 | "I presume it has; I have heard there was quite a stir about it." | |
748 | I found it was generally known that I was preparing a document in defence of the prisoners' rights, and several had heard me read it; and although they insisted upon its truth in every particular, yet they all seemed to think I had no idea of the Doctor's power over us, or I should not dare to utter the truth so plainly to him. | |
749 | Some said, "We have often told him the same thing, but he takes no notice of it whatever, unless he gets mad about it, then he will send us to some bad ward to be punished for it." | |
750 | Others would say, "Mrs. Packard, you had better not give the Doctor that document, unless you wish to be sent to a dungeon, where you could never see daylight again!" | |
751 | Another would say, "I will stand by you, Mrs. Packard, if you will give him that document, if he kills me for doing so! for it is the truth." | |
752 | Fearing some of these predictions might prove true, I took the precaution to take an exact copy of the document, and sewed it up in a cloth, and hid it between the glass and the board back of my mirror, where it remained, undisturbed and unknown, to any one except myself, until I took it out after I was liberated. I did this, thinking that if I should be killed there, it might some time be found, and tell the cause of my sudden or mysterious death; or if ever I should be liberated, it might be a vindication of my sanity, and explain the reason for my being retained so long. Since my liberation I have printed and sold several thousand copies of this reproof. | |
753 | I also put every article of my wardrobe in perfect order, before going to chapel prayers that night, feeling a kind of presentiment of coming evil. I also told my friends in this seventh ward, that I hoped they would save my things from destruction, if they could not help me, in case of an encounter with the Doctor. | |
754 | As it proved, I went to the chapel as well prepared for the event as I could have been, had I known what was to happen. | |
755 | My attendant, Miss Eagle, of the seventh ward, told me that the Doctor came directly to my room after he had disposed of me, and shut himself in there alone, a long time, while he searched my things all over to find every manuscript I had in my possession, which he took from me. Knowing that I had a duplicate of my reproof, he determined to find and destroy it. But in this attempted robbery he failed. | |
756 | He then ordered Miss Eagle to send all my things to the trunk room, and not allow me to take my bowl and pitcher and mirror, although they were my own. | |
757 | He ordered my new attendant, Miss Tenny, to treat me just as she did the maniacs, who were now my sole companions -- to let me have nothing to amuse myself with, by way of sewing, reading, or writing. | |
758 | My associates in this ward occupied themselves in screaming, fighting, running, hallooing, sitting on the floor when they sat at all in their own rooms, as chairs were not allowed in this ward. There was scarcely a patient in the whole ward who could ask or answer a question in a rational manner. | |
759 | This ward was then considered the worst in the house, inasmuch as it then contained some of the most dangerous class of patients, even worse than the fifth in this respect, and in respect to filth and pollution it surpassed the fifth at that time. It is not possible for me to conceive of a more fetid smell, than the atmosphere of this hall exhaled. An occupant of this hall, would inevitably become so completely saturated with this most offensive effluvia, that the odor of the eighth ward patients could be distinctly recognised at a great distance, even in the open air. |