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I was allowed my gold watch and gold spectacles, my three bladed pocket knife and scissors; in fact, everything a hotel boarder could desire. He furnished me books and papers to read. I could read, knit and sew, ride or walk, when I pleased, and to add to the feeling of trust and confidence he reposed in me, he gave me the entire charge of a carriage load of patients, and gave also the reins of the horse into my hands, to ride as far as I pleased, and return when I pleased.

This he did fourteen times, with no one to care for the horse or the patients, but myself.

He gave me money to go to the city and trade for myself, and his wife has sent me to trade for her, and for the house. His wife has employed me for weeks in succession, to cut and make dresses for herself and daughters, and the matron employed me to cut and plan work for the house. I cut and made twelve comforts for the house, and tied them myself, in my room, made pants and vests and cut twelve dresses for the patients.

Indeed, there was always something to do, for the comfort of others, and my own amusement. I was allowed to visit with most of the guests of the house.

In short, but for the grated windows, and bolted doors of prison life, I should hardly have known but I was a boarder, whose identity and capacities were recognized, in common with other intelligent guests.

My companions in the Seventh ward, were a very pleasant source of social enjoyment. Among them, I found some of the most original thinkers I ever saw; and among this class, some of the best teachers I had ever had.

Some of them were Spiritualists, and they taught me many new ideas, and set me on to a new track of exploration. They told me their visions, and trances and prophecies, many of which have been already fulfilled, in the events of the war.

One lady had a prevision of the war, and was sent to the Asylum because she told of it! Another had a vision of the same, under different imagery, and she had to lose her personal liberty for telling of it. Both of these prophetesses, Mrs. Neff and Mrs. Clarke, have lived to see the exact fulfillment of their visions, and like Jeremiah, they both had to be imprisoned for foretelling future events.

And sad as is the fact, these inspired women were compelled even under the folds of the American flag of religious toleration, to either be false to these true inspirations, or "Hide their light under a bushel," in order to obtain their personal liberty. Both of them told me, they were obliged to stop talking about it, before any one would admit they were getting over their insanity.

But they had to endure the horrors of a Lunatic Asylum for months, and even. years, before they could be induced to love the defence of the truth, less than their personal liberty. But neither of these prophetesses ever did, to my knowledge, deny the truth of these visions, nor would they own it to be insanity. They merely yielded to be gagged, on condition that they could be liberated by so doing.

Such manifestations as these, are what the Asylum calls very insane cases, so they had to be subjected to very severe punishments, and tortures, to bring them into this condition! They both said to me clandestinely, the night before they left:

"My views are not changed at all, in regard to these prophetic truths, yet I dare not own it aloud, lest Dr. McFarland hear of it, and I be thereby doomed to endless torment within these prison walls. If my attendants should know that I have uttered these views to you, they will report me to the Doctor, and he will order my friends to leave to-morrow without me, as he will tell them I am not fit to go, for my insanity has returned. Therefore be entreated Mrs. Packard, not to betray me by reporting this conversation, until I am safely away from this horrid Inquisition."

Of course I did not report them to their tormentors, but I consider it to be my duty, to report this inquisition to the American people, and thus appeal to their intelligence, to destroy these Inquisitions, which they are now blindly sustaining, under the popular name of charitable, humanitarian institutions.

If the truth were known, I believe that much that is called insanity at the present day, is only a higher development of Christianity than the perverted theology of the pulpit is willing to recognize.

CHAPTER X.
Letters to My Husband and Children.

Jacksonville, July 14th, 1860, Sabbath, P.M.

My Dear Husband and Children:

Your letter of July eleventh arrived yesterday. It was the third I have received from home, and, indeed, is all I have received from any source since I came to the Asylum. And the one you received from me is all I have sent from here. I thank you for writing so often. I shall be happy to answer all letters from you, if you desire it, as I see you do, by your last. I like anything to relieve the monotony of my daily routine. * *

Dr. McFarland told me, after I had been here one week, "I do not think you will remain but a few days longer." I suspect he found me an unfit subject, upon a personal acquaintance. Still, unfit as I consider myself, to be numbered amongst the insane, I am so numbered at my husband's request. And for his sake, I must, until my death, carry about with me, "This thorn in the flesh -- this messenger of Satan to buffet me," and probably, to keep me humble, and in my proper place.